Please Stop Robin Thicke
When we get married, we want nothing more than the success of our marriage and our spouses. Despite this, the change that comes with success may begin to frighten us as time goes by. One of the main (and common) reasons for marital conflict is a sense that your partner changed. Though success tends to come about slowly (allowing a couple to cope and address changes), quick success often leads to disastrous relationship shakeups.
Case in point: Robin Thicke. This time last year, he was atop the music charts, filling our radios with his song “Blurred Lines.”
The year since hasn’t been kind to Mr. Thicke.
First, he channeled his inner creeper and paid homage to Bettlejuice by grinding on Miley Cyrus at the MTV Music Video Awards. Maybe a questionable choice, but he didn’t come out looking that bad. How could he in a suit that cool?
Then, people started listening to “Blurred Lines” and realized the collectively loved song of the summer was quite a bit misogynistic (reflecting hatred for women). But…for a male pop singer, you can expect these sorts of issues, so long as your personal life doesn’t fall apart due to your poor choices…
While we’re on the subject of your personal life falling apart, I should mention that in the midst of all this, Thicke’s wife, Paula Patton, found out Mr. Thicke had made some questionable life choices by developing somewhat of a “wandering eye.” After dealing with enough, she decided to end their relationship. At that point, things started to really go downhill for Robin.
Shockingly, Mr. Thicke took another step into crazytown by devoting his newest album to getting Mrs. Patton back. A true romantic, the album’s name is “Paula,” and the first single is “Get Her Back.” And, based upon the album sales, people aren’t that excited about an album of desperate pleas from an alleged cheater. Luckily, Robin has a history of being a famous singer. [Remember if your ex writes you an album, you might want to consult your state’s stalking statute (here’s Arizona’s).]
After all of that, maybe you’d expect Robin to take it easy and try and resolve his issues privately. Nope. Thicke did a Twitter Q and A with the hashtag #AskThicke. He intended to use it to promote the album, but it didn’t turn out that way. Some quick social media advice: When you’re accused of promoting date rape in your most popular song and the word on the internet is that you cheat on your wife, asking for public questions isn’t a good idea.
You might be asking how someone gets themselves into a situation like this. Media outlets were quick to point out that Mr. Thicke didn’t know how to handle his newfound success. To be sure, the downfall of Robin Thicke runs in line with the story of a cheating man.
Comedian Chris Rock covered the basics of men’s temptations to cheat in his stand up special “Bring the Pain.” There, he talks about how being in a relationship makes a man more attractive.
The same principles apply to success as well. Both relationships and success make a man more confident and if you mix that with stupidity, they’re likely going to cheat. The central theme of any of these stories is the newly prominent temptation.
As Rock said, if you do it,
“you’re going to get caught.”
The story is an old one. Maybe he’s never understood how to have a conversation with a woman without flirting. Maybe his new job nets him a higher wage, but it requires significant travel. Or, maybe he releases a song that promotes questionable sexual consent and assumes the role of a sex symbol. (You know…normal issues.) These life changes might make it more difficult to stay faithful. Luckily for the majority of relationships, many husbands are able to avoid the temptation or lucky enough to be oblivious to the possibilities.
Defenders of Thicke will often say it’s not his fault. Plenty of reasons and excuses are thrown about:
He’s a sex symbol!
She didn’t support him!
Listening to his song too many times killed his frontal lobe!
While he might have brain damage, he still has a choice as to how he deals with overly-attracted fans. Robin has security for a reason. He could even hire a morality security guard specifically to ward off overly sex-crazed fans. Or, he could at least be reasonable and avoid temptation. But, for so many cheaters, that’s asking far too much.
Cheaters, if you get caught, do society a favor and keep your pleas for forgiveness at least semi-private. Accept you made a bad decision and stop embarrassing everyone.